 |
 Unfortunately giving birth isn't like we were told as a child, so we have invested in beautiful birthing suites, they have been designed to offer a truly relaxing environment for our staff to work in, this involved using the best quality materials available, for example the furniture has been constructed using the same fake wood as that used in our premium coffin range, we feel it removes what is too often an overly clinical atmosphere during this time, plus it was cheap.
We understand that exposing your private parts during labour can be a little embarrassing to begin with, especially if too many family members are floating about with digital cameras, that is why we limit visitors to two during giving birth, unfortunately this can be a problem during multiple births as this will clear the room of guests, the midwife and maybe even the mother in no time.
If you have no family or friends to support you, our vicar is always happy to come and have a good look, he may even talk to you if you are attractive. |
|
swimming pool to those wanting a water birth, however due to health and safety reasons he stipulates that the birth must be during daylight hours, if dusk approaches and the mother to be is not ready to give birth, we will use one of our golf buggies and take them to our maternity unit to be treated as normal women.
Remember when you look into your new babies eyes that this could be the person who decides your future geriatric care, the one who will go through your belongings after you have died throwing away your lifetimes collection of personal knick knacks, and maybe the only family member present at your funeral.
I would like to reassure all potential maternity customers that I guarantee the best care during your time with us.
